


Son of The Wild

by Princess_Diarist



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: F/M, Family Fluff, Gen, Motherhood, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-05 18:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13393452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princess_Diarist/pseuds/Princess_Diarist
Summary: Link and Zelda's son reflects on his unusual upbringing.





	1. Chapter 1

My parents are odd. Don’t get me wrong because I’m a teenager, my parents are _really_ weird.

Both of them are over a hundred years old, despite their apparent age. For the rest, they’re perfectly normal.

Who the heck am I kidding?!

They’re not.

My mother is the long lost princess of Hyrule, Zelda. She is  _technically_   the Queen, but she refuses to take the title until the rebuilding of Hyrule comes to an end… which has been taking place for about eighteen years.

According to my dad, it’s just because she has always felt guilty for Hyrule’s near destruction. I guess it’s something bigger than her.

My father was her appointed knight. At the onset of their relationship they didn’t get along, but with time, they got closer. I have no idea if they were in a relationship over a hundred years ago, but they got together for good after the defeat of  _it-who-shall-not-be-named_. Mom always tells me she fell in love with the same man twice, because after being in the shrine of resurrection and losing his memories made him act differently. He used to be  _serious_. I can’t believe a word she says about that, because my dad is the funniest, happy-go-lucky guy I know. Come on, he may not be the king of Hyrule, but he is the king of puns.

‘King of  _bad_  puns’, my mom always says.

‘No, mom, King of the Wild’, I correct her. She just laughs at the title I gave him when I was five.

Boy, I had the wildest childhood ever. I still wonder how I made it this far - oh, yes. My mom. Goddesses know what would have been of me - or my siblings - without her.

I’m the oldest of four, by the way. Three boys, one girl.

Let’s say I was a “little surprise” that arrived unexpectedly when my mother was young, so I was an only child for a while, my parents being as clueless about parenting as they could possibly be.

So, as my uncle Sidon said, I am the “kid of the wild”.

It certainly has a nice ring to it.

_The Son of the Wild._


	2. Siblings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the not-so-royal family of Hyrule.

I have three siblings, two twin boys named Daruk and Darbus, and a girl, Mipha Urbosa - Miu for short.

My name? It  _isn’t_  Rhoam; my mom was adamant on not naming me after her father. She always says ‘I have made peace with him, but I would never put his name on the royal family  _ever_ again. Names have power, after all’.

My mom, as sweet, kind, patient, and understanding as she is, is not a woman of empty threats. She researched for names that weren’t on the kingsrecord, and chose two from a giant scroll with names she had compiled.

I am Rami Oran Hyrule, first of his name. As my mother explained to me, it means “exalt archer of light” in ancient Gerudo (mom says grandma Urbosa  _would have loved it_ ). My dad likes it because it allowed him to make horrible punny jokes about his… “ _marksmanship”_ , which I didn’t understand as a kid - I just thought he meant I was as good an archer as he is.

Now that I do, I get why my mom threatened him with a live hot-footed frog, and the biggest death stare  _every single time_.

Back to my siblings. My twin brothers are 12, both mirror images one from each other- Daruk’s hair is parted to the left, Darbus’s to the right; the former has blue eyes, the latter, green. Both are pretty much small versions of my dad, with the long hair and sideburns, but specially in personality. They have a natural disposition for disaster.

Miu is the littlest one, aged 10. My mom almost went to the Sacred Springs again to thank the Goddesses for her  _little bird_  - “Don’t get me wrong, I love you all with all my heart, but it’s nice to have female company”, mom always says. She also has fun making pretty dresses for her - she makes everyone’s clothes at home. Besides that mom and dad spoil her (she isn’t rotten though), auntie Riju and auntie Paya adore her too. Not that I blame them. My little sister is cute, quiet, sweet, a little shy - uncle Sidon says she’s a Hylian version of his late sister - and like mom, hella smart. Also, she inherited something that eluded my mom for seventeen years: magic skills.

My poor mom was really emotional when Miu, who was around five, one day brought her a “bubbled” butterfly while she was working. She started weeping her heart out, and held her very tight, telling her  _“I am so happy you would never have to suffer like I did_ ”.

That night while dad tucked us in bed, he told us the whole story about mom’s lack of powers, and how her own father belittled her for said cause. That day I learned two things: why mom has  _never_  called him our grandfather, and that my dad almost died for her, which awakened her powers.

I never looked at them the same way, and I mean that in a good way. I respected more than I already did.

Back to Miu. Mom calls her and I ‘her research assistants’: I mostly help her with heavy duty stuff - dismantling old dead guardians is my specialty - and Miu keeps the records and makes annotations, though she is very fond of tinkering things. Auntie Purah wants her to be her apprentice as soon as she comes of age.

My brothers were banned from it after making a hole on the roof with a rock and the stasis rune - they were “playing Goron golf”. Even dad thought it was too much. And considering my dad’s history of crazy antics, that’s  _a lot to say_. Good thing gramps Bolson is always there to fix the mess.

When he knew my mom was pregnant with me, he ran with uncle Karson from New Castletown’s works and made a some renovations in the house - a door to make an access to the bathroom from the inside, expanded the second floor, plus baby furniture - he kinda knew they wouldn’t settle in one kid only. The house has changed a lot in seventeen years, not only because of how my brothers turned out to be, but also because our house is always crowded. People come and go visiting my parents, whether it’s just for saying hi, or for more formal things, since the castle is still being restored - uncle Sidon would  _live_  here if allowed, but I guess the house’s terrain isn’t big enough to host Vah Ruta.

The Hateno house is certainly another character in this story.

But that’s for another day.

 


	3. Parenting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rami remembers a visit to Zora's Domain.

Being the firstborn has certainly benefits: all the stuff you get is new, you are lavished with everyone’s attention, you are pampered, yadda yadda; the banter is endless.

But everyone forgets the most important thing:  _your parents know jack shit about raising a child ninety percent of the time_.

My mom, traumatized by her upbringing, was making an extremely conscious effort to give me, and later my siblings, the happy childhood she was mostly denied by her royal upbringing, always allowing us to be unapologetically ourselves. My dad, having forgotten most of his childhood, took this concept overboard, living a second childhood with us. Have this childhood anecdote for example:

‘We’re going for a fun stroll and swimming in Mikau lake with Rami and Sidon’, my dad told mom one time we were visiting Zora’s Domain. I had just turned five.

Since she was talking about the rebuilding efforts with king Dorephan, she just told us ‘go ahead, have fun’.

Uncle Sidon and dad grinned, answering ‘We will!’. By that, ‘how about giving the kid diving lessons - but mostly…  _teach him how to decimate the Lynel of Ploymus Mountain’._

I didn’t kill the Lynel by the way, nor dad did, because it wasn’t there anymore. Lynels, Taluses, Hinoxes, and monsters in general, are extremely rare these days. After mom and dad’s victory, they weakened, and they are mostly found in very secluded areas, like Gerudo highlands, deep in Faron Woods, north of Death Mountain, or near Hebra’s Labyrinth - to say Mr. Kilton was depressed about his business is  _an understatement_.

What I did do instead was to pull a bomb dive from Shatterback Point, along with dad and uncle Sidon, as my mom froze, eyes wide as saucers. She awaited for us on the landing of the ladder, _furious_. 

‘You lied to me’, was the only - and last - thing she said to him for the rest of the day.

She disarmed uncle Sidon telling him in a seething voice, so unlike her, ‘You are his best friend, and should be his voice of reason, not the opposite’.

No fruitcake or “I’m sorry” could make her elicit a word to him. She locked herself in the inn room for the rest of the day.

‘I’m not even that mad at him for pulling that crazy stunt with you and Sidon’, mom told me that night while she tucked me in bed at the Zora’s inn. ‘He was going to do something else, did he?’ She gave me this glare of I know you know something, and you’re going to tell me now.

‘He was going to teach me to fight a Lynel because I asked him to’ - I really did - ‘but it was gone, so he thought it would be good to do some diving’, I blurted.

‘From the highest cliff in Zora’s Domain?’

‘He thought it would be awesome’, I explained, ‘don’t be mad at him or uncle, mommy, please’.

‘I wouldn’t be if he did that alone or with Sidon, I’m used to his silly stunts. But he took you, unaware of the danger, with him, knowing I probably wouldn’t allow that’, she ruffled my hair and kissed my forehead. ‘You are my precious son, I would be inconsolably sad if something bad happened to you’.

As a five year old, I didn’t understand fully the weight of her words. Now I do.

‘You won’t dump dad for this?’, I asked, all pouty.

‘Absolutely not’, my mom laughed, ‘he is a wonderful dad, and despite I’m mad at him now, I love him with all my heart’.

After she kissed me goodnight, mom left the room, a familiar figure awaiting for her at the shadowed threshold, face full of remorse.

‘We need to talk’, was the only thing mom told him, and they left for a more private place. I spied a little on them with the slate’s scope - they were on the bridge that can be seen straight from the inn’s rooms, which leads to Upland Zorana. I snooped until I saw dad smile like a dork and hug her; I needed to make sure mom wasn’t actually going to dump him! It was a strange fear I had as a child.

Now that I think of it, it must have been because my parents have been delaying their wedding for eighteen years. I still don’t know why they haven’t tied the knot yet. The ways of love are mysterious, and having zero experience like I do makes relationships something as complex as the mazes my dad found on his journey.

In the end, my parents made up, and everything went back to normal, except that my dad, whenever he was about to do some crazy shenanigans with me, asked mom first. She would always give him a slightly disapproving look, but say ‘go ahead, but take care’, and keep doing whatever she was focusing on at the moment.

This fight had another, unexpected consequence: my parents reconciled so…  _thoroughly_ , that seven months -they thought it would be great to arrive way before their due date- after our visit to Zora’s Domain, my brothers were born.


	4. Role Model

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rami recalls the wacky - and sometimes dangerous - antics of his younger twin brothers.

My brothers inherited something from my dad not Miu, nor I have: his absolute lack of sense of mortality. The man survived practically  _every possible way of dying_ when he was in his journey, after all - fairies run away from him whenever possible.

But no one thought how they would turn out, considering my mom’s pregnancy was peaceful - she never had any complication, even if my little brothers were born earlier. They were  _perfect little angels_ : they slept well, ate normally (considering our house’s standards,  _it’s a lot actually_ ), they were friendly and never fussy. Mom thought they would be more or less like me, more on the quiet side, with occasional bursts of mischief - generally because dad was involved with them, and because childhood _is supposed to be like that, isn’t it_?

Everyone thought that, until my brothers learned to crawl. They were restless and full of energy, and loved to hide.

And then, they learned to walk. Daruk and Darbus climbed counters, shelves, trees, the house, the zenith of their ventures being the Ancient Lab’s Lighthouse while mom was working with auntie Purah on a long-running project of them: making reproductions of the Sheikah slate for all people to use.

They were  _so_  grounded: mom and dad had to put baby leashes on them. And for a time, it was good.

And then… in a matter of weeks, they learned to talk, dangerously fast and well. Those chatterboxes never stop. Unless planning wacky stuff, or eating, that is.

But when they mess up big time, they recognize that a at least.

This happened when they were almost four years old:

‘Mama, can we go play shield surfing?’ Daruk, the older, is always the one who begins any conversation.

‘Pretty pwease, mummy?’, Darbus insisted, both clung to my mom’s skirt.

‘No, unless you go with your dad or Rami’, she set the rules.

And they went to pick us; we were on the front yard, training archery.

‘Daddy, mommy told us we could play shield surfing with you!’, Daruk announced.

‘Shield surfing! with Rami and daddy!’, Darbus repeated.

‘Shield surfing is boring here, kids’, he ruffled the twins’ hair. ‘We should go somewhere  _cool…_ ’, he mused, playing with his attempt of beard, ‘somewhere  _chill_ …’

Oh, punny dad. One hundred and thirty-five years, my ass.

We ended up in Hebra, of course, at Selmie’s Spot. Mom joined us of course, knowing if we were on our own, disaster would likely ensue.

The twins mastered in no time the basics of shield surfing, and played around while mom and dad enjoyed the landscape, and I made a snowman with Miu.

And then, a double yell downhill.

Mom froze, a cry trapped on her throat to avoid scaring Miu. Dad’s eyes widened, something clicking inside him, and he wasn’t dad anymore. His gaze was steel, grit, and courage.

He ran like lightning towards the source of the screams: my brothers were being chased by a huge bear, disobeying his orders of not going away from his sight. I approached the slope with mom and Miu, cradled in her trembling arms.

He slid on his hylian shield at a frantic speed, jumping from it to hover over the moving beast, whose claws were ready to strike over Daruk, who had stumbled, and was struggling to get up in the snow. He fell over the beast, the tempered steel of his Royal Guard sword piercing through the bear’s nape with a brutal force, the animal falling dead right in front of my brothers.

I will never forget my father’s gaze, standing over the bear’s back, bloody blade in his hand, the cold wind of Hebra making his hood undulate in the wind.

All the stories I had heard from mom, our uncles, aunts, and family friends, were not a highly decorated narrative: my dad, my punny, glutton, silly, loving dad, was indeed the near-invincible warrior  _blessed by the Goddesses_ , the ruthless, brave champion of Hyrule  _who took Calamity Ganon down_.

And in the blink of an eye, he was dad again, hugging my brothers to soothe them, and wiping their tears and snot, while he sobbed ‘I was so worried about you, you brats! don’t disobey me or mom ever again!’

Mom approached the border of the slope, having just witnessed what I saw. ‘I hope this serves them well, just as it did to me when I was sixteen’, she murmured, and took a deep breath. ‘Miu, Rami, stay here. I have to scold those two’. Mom had a serene, determined look on her face.

‘Mommy is  _mad_ , Rami!  _Daddu_  and  _Dabbu_  were naughty!’, Miu mumbled, all cozy in her fluffy pink coat.

And yes. If mom complains a lot about something and looks angry, it’s alright. But if she is calm… may the Goddesses’ mercy be with you.

In the end mom and dad did ground them: they had to study all wild animals from the Hyrule Compendium with mom two hours a day for a month, and help with the household chores.

But in all honesty… do you think they learned anything?

Yes, and no: they did stay away from wild animals, but after seeing dad’s display of skills, the only thing they wanted to be was being ‘ _kickass like him_ ’.

They have covered shield surfing, sand seal races, diving from Shatterback Point, mining cart races in Goron City, and weird uses of the Sheikah Slate runes - they had pretty much mastered stasis when mom banned them from using it.

With time, mom assumed, with resignation, the Goddesses and the spirits guarded her reckless twins, and somehow, stopped worrying too much about their safety. They miraculously have never gotten hurt badly.

Whenever they say, ‘ _mom, check out what we did!_ ’, I hear a  _‘Hylia please have mercy with me_ ’ under her breath before going to the yard. 

Dad’s opinion? ‘ _Fate favors the fearless_ ’, and he grins proud of his _Calamity Twins._


	5. Little Bird

 

Mipha-Urbosa Hyrule. 

 

As big and spectacular as it sounds. You would think immediately of a graceful, strong, seasoned warrior queen. 

But… that’s my little sister, Miu, who is tiny, smart and sweet, whose blonde hair is pinned neatly to the sides and perfectly braided, her clothes are always neat, even after dismantling a ton of guardians in the works of Hyrule Castle, and mom calls her  _ little bird _ , ‘ _like your grandmothers called me_ ’, she says. A little polite lady, always kind, understanding, graceful, and wise beyond her years, who runs around catching insects and beetles for Mr. Beedle, adores and is adored by animals, and gifts flowers to the Great Fairies whenever possible.

 

‘She is an old soul’, King Dorephan always says. 

 

She is also a fast learner: under mom’s tutoring, she learned how to read and write at age four, and she memorized the entirety of the Hyrule Compendium months before she turned five. I just learned what is useful for daily life, and Daruk and Darbus… nothing at all.

My dad adored her from the moment she held her in his arms. He cried when all of us were born, but Miu turned him into a weeping mess, to the weirded out faces of the twins and I, and mom’s tired laugh. 

She was crying when aunt Paya handed her to him after he cut her umbilical cord. Her wailing stopped, she stared at him, and then… 

 

She smiled. 

 

‘It was like a little ray of sunshine! My heart was all ‘ _ I must protect her little smile… and…’ _ , dad bursts in tears every time he talks about her birth - he is really sentimental. Dad is the kind of person who cries at weddings too. 

To my siblings and I it's hard to believe he used to be such a stern man a hundred years ago. Mom says she was really frustrated about him, because she would never know what he was thinking; actually, dad was incredibly shy and getting along with people was really hard for him. He tells me it’s true, but ‘your mama was not frustrated about me. She was troubled about her powers, and she lashed out a little on me… She apologized later, and we became friends’. He passed the trial to become the wielder of the Master Sword when he was thirteen, unlike my dear mom’s powers, that awoke as she threw herself in the way of danger to save my gravely wounded father, and dwindled after sealing _it-who-shall-not-be-named_. She occasionally has had bursts of healing power, once to heal my father who had fallen from the roof while it rained and sprained his leg, and when I was little and got very sick with a extremely high fever. 

Women are very important in the Royal Family of Hyrule (it sounds so weird to say it, since we have always been a  _ normal _ family), for they hold the role of Priestesses of the Goddesses, and they are the keepers of magic. Our grandma passed away before teaching mom how to awaken her powers. And that’s where partly lies the importance of having a sister in our family.

 

So, after Miu came with an encapsulated butterfly and dad told us about her trials during the past, my mom dusted off her white priestess dress and regalia, made a white dress similar to hers for Miu, made some fitting and mendings on dad’s Champion shirt, and we departed on a day of full moon to the Spring of Power in Akkala.

Daruk, Darbus, and I were sitting on the floor, the twins unexpectedly silent, as dad hugged my mother tight, kissed her forehead, and with an endearing _‘you can do this, love_ ’, helped her lower herself and Miu into the water after sunset.

He turned his back to them and stood straight, hands on his sword’s pummel, waiting for them.

‘I used to guard your mama like this when we were kids’, he murmured to us. ‘This surely brings back memories’.

Mom stood behind Miu. ‘Close your eyes and put your hands together, little bird’.

Both remained silent for some minutes. 

‘Mommy, the lady says you can’t hear her but I will give you her message!’, Miu approached the platform in front of the sculpture, to my mother’s shock. Miu stood, dress soaked. ‘Now you can use my voice, lady!’, she shouted to the heavens, joining her hands and closing her eyes shut.

Miu  _ channeled Hylia’s voice. _ My mom looked at her tiny girl astonished, dad turned, not believing what his eyes were seeing. The twins were silent, not understanding much, just like me.

‘ _ You have come a long way, Princess Zelda. I apologize for using your child as a means of communicating, but your current power does not allow you to talk directly to me’ _ . The female voice was soft and melodious.

‘I understand, Your Grace’.

‘ _ That does not mean my blessings are not with you. Your children, your champion and life partner, and all the ones you love and care for are under my protection. Your little one is a powerful being indeed, a wielder of light like you, but you will have to show her the way _ ’.

‘But I have nothing to teach her, Your Grace!’, she pleaded.

‘ _ You do: wisdom, humility, temperance, perseverance even in the face of failure, and most importantly, a strong, unbreakable will. You thrived where others did not’. _

Mom broke in tears at those words.

‘ _ You took the wounds life inflicted you and turned them into something beautiful...you are surrounded by their results _ ’. Miu’s right hand rose, mom and her surrounded by golden light. ‘ _ I bestow now upon you my blessings’. _

A golden, highly ornamented bow in the shape of a crescent moon fell upon her hands.

 

The Bow of Light.

 

‘ _ This is the weapon of the Princesses of Legend. Your champion wielded it in combat, and now, it is yours. It will materialize at your will. My other blessings you shall see them with time. Be at peace, Princess Zelda. My favor is with you… Go and restore Hyrule to its former splendor, you have done it beautifully so far’. _

The golden light and the bow faded. Miu blinked, and looked up again. ‘you’re welcome lady! I’ll be a good girl! Mommy is the smartest, isn’t she? Bye bye!’, waving to the moonlit heavens.

‘Miu?’, mom’s voice trembled.

‘Mommy! Why you cry?’, my sister jumped to the water and clung to her waist.

‘Happy tears, sweetheart’, she stroked her head and held her up. ‘Let’s go, or we will catch a cold’.

Dad took them out of the water, and hugged them, gesturing for us to join, all mushed in a big family hug.

 

Dad lit a bonfire so mom and Miu would dry their clothes and warm up, and the twins set camp - dad convinced mom it would be fun to camp at the Spring instead of riding for a couple of hours to arrive late at night in Tarrey Town. We ate together meat skewers and creamy heart soup, while mom and dad told us some stories about when they traveled around after their victory, and sent us to our sleeping bags.

While mom and dad had a moment for themselves and had a little stroll outside the spring, Miu poked us awake. Daruk and Darbus are impossible to awake once asleep, so we stayed up chit-chatting.

‘The lady told me something just for us four, Rami’, she giggled as she got up from the sleeping bag, ‘it’s super secret!’

‘Spill it, birdie!’, I laughed, pulling her hood up to keep her warm, following her.

She stood on the spot dad had been standing before. ‘this is the place daddy fell in love with mommy! She was super sad and he made her feel better with a hug, the lady told me!’, her arms waved as she bounced around the spot, ‘he was super serious’ - she frowned, imitating dad’s serious demeanor - ‘but his heart was going boom!’, she jumped.

I laughed, but I did believe her! We returned to our sleeping bags before being caught by our parents, who returned to check on us, and mysteriously… ended up cuddling in the same spot Miu had been before.


	6. The Birds and The Bees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for 'The Talk'.

Storm, mom’s white stallion, has fathered several horses. One time, when Miu was four, Daruk and Darbus were six, and I was eleven, we went to the Dueling Peaks Stable to meet one of the foalies, my brothers asking my dad the following question: 

‘Daddy, how are babies born then?’, Daruk and Darbus said in unison.

Dad, Hero of Hyrule and several other titles,was petrified by a child asking him about reproduction.

‘Mummy, daddy doesn’t seem to know, can you tell us?’, they looked at her, already red.

‘I will, once we get home’.

 

The waters were quiet - mom and dad rode some steps ahead of us, murmuring between each other all the time, very embarassed, until we crossed the door.

My parents are hardly prude. If dad could, he would be in undies all the time, mom doesn’t mind much about it, he just gives him funny looks and steal glances between each other and they are always affectionate to each other - dad says “ _I have to make up for the hundred years I spent without her”_ \- and we have always talked with honesty about everything.

‘Wait for us on the table, kids’, mom indicated, Daruk, Darbus and Miu sitting at their places.

Mom grabbed a large, thick book titled _Biology Atlas_ and proceeded to give them a master class on the types of reproduction of the races of Hyrule: plants, fungi, mammals, birds fish, lizards, insects, Zoras, Rito, Gorons, Hylians and Gerudo, you name it - she talked non-stop for two hours.

It was indeed interesting - Miu enjoyed it, understanding thoroughly the subject - but the ones that should have had their questions answered - and dad - were incredibly puzzled.

So dad, seeing my little brothers’ confused faces, he decided to take my brothers and sister for a stroll. ‘Maybe they need a _more explicit image_ ’.

‘Rami dear, go with them please’, mom ordered. ‘I _know_ your father is brewing something odd’.

 

And I obeyed, knowing my mom _always knows best_ , and followed them to the forest.

‘Remain silent, little ones’, he murmured, and we crouched behind some bushes while some stag was trying to mount a doe deer. ‘animals have a time of the year in which the only thing they wanna do is mate, because they wanna have babies’.

The twins went ‘oooh’, but looked at each other, proving they didn’t understand a thing yet.

‘You hafta say when they are _in heat_ , daddy!’, Miu corrected him, and asked innocently, ‘are mommy and you in heat sometimes, daddy?’

Dad went incandescent as the magma of freaking Death Mountain, and attempted unsuccessfully to put his thoughts into words, giving a stammered ‘yeah, s-sometimes?’

 

I honestly I was trying to block his answer from my head, because I actually understood what that statement meant.

 

Which brings me to the time mom and dad had to go through all this same situation with me.

One night when I was four, I woke up to some noises... something like muffled screams to be exact _._ I grabbed Paddy, my sand seal plushie, and went downstairs - I share a large room with my siblings on the mansard roof of the house- a little drowsy, approaching their bed.

‘Mama? Daddy?’, I called out for them; under the blankets was noticeable some shuffling.

And from underneath them, my mom’s head - panting, hair loose and messy - emerged.

‘Rami, my dear!’-she tucked her hair behind her ears- ‘did you have a nightmare?’

Dad’s hair looked like a rats’ nest, and he was shirtless and really agitated.

I just shook my head, answering, ‘I heard a weird noise, mummy’.

Mom covered her face with the blanket, really embarrassed, and dad laughed, telling her ‘I told you were too noisy!’

‘Were you playing a game?’, I asked, mom and dad not knowing what to do.

They sat on the bed - mom was wearing dad’s shirt - and I climbed with them.

 

‘Sometimes grown people like to be really close to each other to express their feelings’, mom explained, ‘and they hold tight and kiss a lot. It’s fun and it makes you feel happy’.

‘And sometimes after that, people end up having cute little kids like you, Rami!’, dad ruffled my hair. Later he took me to my bed, and tucked me back to sleep.

 

That explanation was more than enough for me to understand, and later that day, I grabbed the twins, and with some “technical input” from Miu - she explained again all the anatomy with the help of mom’s book -  we ended up explaining the subject way better than mom and dad did… and the results were not what we expected, but it was alright.

 

‘And that was all?’, Daruk asked. ‘It doesn’t sound fun!’

‘It’s gross! You have to kiss a girl!’, Darbus exclaimed, ‘or a boy! Yuck!’

  
And nobody asked again about sex for a while, until Miu one day was looking for mom and dad and found them in some kind of “compromising situation” on the storage room, because she asked them all day _if they were in heat or not._


	7. Gardening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda finds the twins doing some disastrous house work.
> 
> This is an ask I received from an Anon on Tumblr, which I decided to post also here.

The twins pointed out at each other when Zelda asked with a stormy glare and steely voice ‘Where are my Silent Princesses?’

Zelda had found Daruk and Darbus with a pair of scissors each, on the patch of her favorite flowers on the front yard, which she had planted after her arrival to Hateno an had carefully tended to, in what felt like an eternity - but were actually  _ten_  years.

The delicate white and blue flowers and blooms had been cut, leaving only the stems and leaves.

‘W -we saw daddy m-making an elixir with the flowers in the morning….’, Daruk began, stammering, never losing eye contact with his mother.

_Link just uses one or two! Not the whole patch!_

‘…and w-we t-thought we could make you a p-perfume with them!’, Darbus gave her a little flask with a cork, with a thick, light blue concentrate. She examined the bottle.

 

_It actually has good consistency for being made in such an improvised fashion. My boys are so talented… but naughty. You cheeky lads!_

 

‘WE’RE SORRY MAMA!’, the twins clung to her skirt, almost crying in unison, ‘We didn’t wanna ruin your flowers, don’t punish us’.

Zelda took a breath as deep as the abyss surrounding the Gerudo Wasteland tower, her blood still boiling a little, but trying her best to not scold her offspring disproportionately .

‘Flowers are living beings that must be treated with respect’, she stated firmly. ‘Do you swear to never make that again?’

The twins looked at her and nodded.

‘We’ll be good boys!’, they shouted. ‘Can we play now, mummy?’.

‘You’re still punished’, Zelda made clear with a frown, ‘come inside, you will have to study the properties of the plants on the Hyrule Compendium’.

Two little voices yelled ‘noooo!’ before entering the house.

‘Yes, or did you think I would forgive you for this, you little rapscallions?’

‘No mummy, please’, Daruk begged.

‘It’s the worst punishment!’, Darbus pleaded.

‘No complaints!’ Zelda chided, ‘You will study,  _in silence_ , little Miu was having a nap while you two mowed my flowers!’

A low groan was the only answer she received.

 

Zelda enjoyed the soft perfume of her favorite flowers for several months, but the twins _never_ dared to touch their mother’s flowers ever again.


	8. Something Beyond Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rami explains Miu some things about their parents' relationship.

‘Rami, do you know why daddy and mommy don’t wear rings?’, Miu asked me some days ago while we were dismantling a guardian turret in the castle works, her face really serious while she did her labor.

 

‘It’s because they haven’t got married yet’, I explained her, undoing some screws to dismount the chassis of the old machine. ‘Mom only wears an engagement ring’.

‘I see…’, she hummed, putting on her goggles, leather gloves and apron. ‘Gimme the saw, Rami, please’.

I saw a determination in her eyes, crystal clear, as she cut through the metal as if it was goat butter:  _ I must do something about that, and soon. _

Miu is stubborn - a family thing it seems -  _ and _ smart, so that means she plans extremely carefully her moves, and gets what she wants.

‘Why hadn’t they gotten married then?’, she asked again, her head buzzing with possible reasons, ‘They have been engaged for too long!’

‘Miu,  _ I  _ happened’, I explained her, ‘that kind of blew all the plans uncle Sidon and auntie Riju had in mind, as far as I know’.

‘Oh, that’s right’ - she handed me the piece of metal she had just cut - ‘but they could have done it anyway!’

‘Do you  _ really _ think mom would have gotten married under those circumstances?’, I enquired her, putting the metal on a leather bag.

‘She hates white dresses, and being forced to do things forcefully, so no’, she conceded, loosening some screws from inside the guardian, removing a giant core, remaining silent for a while.

 

‘Why are you asking me this anyway, Miu?’, I leaned on the wall, ‘Did someone make a nasty comment, or…?’

‘Most of the kids I see have their parents married’, she sighed, holding the guardian part as if it was a sand seal plushie, ‘We’re the odd ones’.

‘We  _ are _ the odd ones, Miu, for that, and so many other reasons’, I held her, ‘Just look at Daruk and Darbus over there’.

 

Our brothers were climbing the highest flagpole of the castle, above the Sanctum’s roof, to put the royal banner on it, as mom looked up with a worrisome look, covering partly her eyes, dad encouraging them to go  _ higher _ .

 

‘You’re right, Rami’, she sighed, ‘but maybe we could convince them, don’t you think? They could marry when the castle works are done!’

 

We were dismantling the last remaining  guardian on the castle. The works should be finished in six to eight months. We have rooms assigned  _ for each of us, _ except for the twins who refused to have separate ones _.  _ That’s going to be wild, my own room!

 

I looked at the expansive, bustling, and noisy New Castletown in front of us, Grandpa Bolson’s masterpiece, and all the effort and time not only him and his workers had put in it, but also my parents’: I imagine my mother when she was young, then through all her pregnancies, and with us, dad tagging along obviously helping her in anything he could, while she was researching, trying to find a way out of a conundrum, or making the most of a bad situation.

 

They had given their lives for this land, _and_ for us.

 

‘It’s not about convincing them, Miu’, I tried to explain her, signaling her to climb down the guardian, as the sun was setting. ‘Dad and mom’s relationship is way beyond ordinary love’.

‘Because of the spirit of the hero and blood of the Goddess thing?’, she put the giant core on my bag, climbed down and removed her gear, later following me to meet our parents.

‘Not only that’, I affirmed, ‘It’s more of a “ _it’s in the little details_ ” kind of thing… you just gotta look at them’, I pointed out.

‘Those things!’, Miu realized. ‘Sometimes mom makes food that dad wanted to eat without him knowing! Or gets him arrows and stuff!’

I nodded, ‘and dad knows when mom has had a hard day or she is struggling with something, and he makes her cake and her favorite tea’.

‘I get the idea!’, she grinned, more optimistic, ‘But we kind of fix all our problems with food!’

I burst laughing at her pretty accurate conclusion. ‘That’s dad’s fault! You know he always says “a full belly is a full heart”!’

‘When I was little I was also weirded out about them not being married’, I commented her. ‘If you are again in doubt, Miu, just remember one word’, I told her, patting her back. 

‘Which one, Rami?’, she asked, looking at mom and dad laughing at our brothers questionable achievement - they put the banner upside down.

‘Commitment’, I told her. 'It doesn't need rings, because it's something beyond love and fate'.

 

Miu understood, and nodded, running to hold mom and dad.

  
  



	9. A Verily Extended Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Families are not always related by blood.

Mom and dad, of course, have no living relatives, which left us with a very wide and diverse gallery of adoptive aunts, uncles, and grandparents, starting with the very champions of this time. 

They are our godparents, an idea of auntie Riju and uncle Sidon in case anything happened to our parents; and after them, they are the most present people in our lives.

Uncle Sidon taught all of us to swim and dive. He is prone to drop by unannounced just to have fun with us, and do silly stuff with dad. Me jumping at age five from Shatterback point was _tame_. For instance, the twins, a couple of years ago, almost destroyed the tail of the sculpture topping Zora’s Domain, because uncle Sidon indulged them in their climbing ventures.

‘Sidon, you should have _scolded_ them!’, mom told him. ‘Look at that disaster!’

‘My dear Zelda, when my nephews come I assume there will be minor property damage’, he shrugged, ‘they are such lively, energetic kids!’

“ _Minor property damage_ ”: the repair took six months and almost one thousand pieces of luminous stones brought from all corners of Hyrule, by the way. 

When asked about how close he is to us, he clears out: 

‘I'm not just an uncle...I'm _The Uncle!_ ’, with his flashiest grin. 'Just don't tell the guys!'

By the way, we have a nickname… the _Hylian shoal_ ; we’re his “little fish”. He truly considers us part of his family, taking into account he could have been dad’s brother-in-law for real -it’s a long and kind of painful matter for dad, because up to this day, he just remembers aunt Mipha by fragments, and things mom, uncle Sidon, or Grandpa Dorephan have helped him remember.

Uncle Sidon has an extremely soft spot for Miu. He calls her Angelfish. When Miu was a little, and we visited the domain without our parents, she sometimes would have trouble sleeping, and uncle, being the ten feet giant he is, would cradle her in his arms and tell stories about his sister to her until she fell asleep - which would take hours. Whenever we come, they spend hours talking about anything, always sitting in front of aunt Mipha’s statue.

Uncle Teba and I are very close. He taught me all about archery alongside dad -uncle is sort of my mentor on that field- and a lot about discipline; I admire deeply his sense of duty and his commitment to be the best (without losing humility on the way), which he passed on to Tulin, who is one of my closest friends.

When I came of age, he gifted me an amazing, powerful custom-made bow.

He also taught Miu - my sister’s aim is brutally good to my chagrin, but as far as I know, other princesses of Hyrule have had legendary marksmanship skills - and the twins, who despite their overall distractedness, learnt quite a deal.

Uncle Yunobo is one of the few people Daruk and Darbus actually listen to, he has a way with them, ever since they were little. The twins parrot endlessly about things with him, and uncle just listens serenely, and disarms any of their wacky plans or scolds them kindly.

‘Goro goro, did you really think you would get away with that, you little pebbles?’, he pats their heads and laughs gently.

Auntie Riju has always been there along uncle Sidon to babysit us whenever possible - mom says her the relationship with us reminds her of how close she was with grandma Urbosa. Auntie has also given all of us handmade sand seal plushies when we were born. I still have mine! 

Miu and I are her her 'litte birds', the twins are her 'thunder and lightning' - 'one cannot exist without the other', she says. 

Up to this day, none of us has beaten her in sand seal racing, not even with the help of Patrick and Patricia junior.

Another strong presence in our lives has been the Sheikah, starting with the chief, aunt Paya. Mom, auntie Riju, and her are best friends.

Their bond began before the time mom was pregnant with me, and strengthened along time.

Auntie Paya has two children: Momo, the _prettiest and toughest girl I’ve seen in my life_ \- I have never been able to beat her at hand in hand combat because she's amazing… and I have a crush on her. 

She has a younger brother, Shiro, who is more interested in Sheikah technology than in fighting, so auntie Purah and uncle Robbie have a protegé. 

Grandma Impa seems to be guarded by the Golden three and Hylia themselves, because she is sturdy as an oak, and has the strongest willpower of all. 

‘I _might_ decide to pass on after seeing your mother crowned, and this land restored’, she laughs.

We have grown surrounded by a wonderful family forged along the years. We are all so different, but I would give my life for any of them.

To be honest, we're a bunch of lucky brats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't talked about the rest of the characters, so I expanded the idea some more! 
> 
> Momo means pink in Japanese (but it also can mean peach, so it's a fruity name lol), Shiro means white.


	10. Oh, (Bitter) Sweet Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The siblings find out by accident something about themselves.

Two things I had never known of until I was almost ten: my parents having a fight, and us knowing we had been living a lie, sort of: we pretty much had no awareness of whose children we actually were up to that day. 

And it all began because of my someone’s sweet tooth.

 

‘Where is the cake?’, mom asked that evening after dinner, dead serious. We were on the yard, playing around.

 

We, despite being children, knew of mom's fury - aka pettiness- regarding cake, and denied being the ones behind its disappearance. 

But there's one member of our house that does not know of fear, and it’s not the twins: dad. 

A dab of buttercream on the corner of his lips gave him away. Mom made  _ the most offended  _ gasp when she saw the evidence. 

 

‘You ate it, you treacherous rapscallion!’, she shouted pointing at him.

‘Yup. You weren't eating it, so…’, he shrugged. 

‘How dare you assume that! I was going to enjoy it with my tea while I read!’, she assured him. 

‘Oh, excuse me!’, he smirked, ‘I didn’t know the cake I made for everyone had your name in it… You are acting like a meanie, you super spoiled Princess!’

 

And then, dad unleashed a fury bigger than any sacred seal. I warn you: it’s  _ petty _ .

 

‘Link Philippus, son of Wolfram, Appointed Knight to the Crown, Champion of Hyrule!’, she hissed, seething, ‘There is only one rule we respect in this house, and you just broke it!’

 

Said rule was:  _ thou shall not eat the last piece of fruitcake, for it belongs to mom _ . It’s _ written _ on a chalkboard in the kitchen - I know, it’s  _ ridiculous _ . It was  _ literally _ the only piece of written law on the house, ever.

 

Our attention was caught first at the word  _ Champion _ , and we approached the threshold. 

We had heard it from our bedtime stories - and Master Kass’ songs- about a group of brave warriors of the past, and knew my siblings’ names were tied to them, and that our aunt and uncles were related to them, specially uncle Sidon. We also knew mom and dad were working to rebuild the kingdom and they had an important role, but…we were kids and didn't give much thought to it, even I being the eldest.

 

‘Rules are meant to be broken,  _ Princess Zelda Adeline Philomena Hyrule! _ ’, dad teased her, the last words he uttered leaving us all wide-eyed and gasping - even the twins.

 

Because we all had heard from granny Impa about the princesses of yore and their importance, but never could imagine our sweet, patient, smart, and always understanding mom was  _ the very wielder of The Golden Power _ .

 

‘Mom’s the pwincess?!’, Miu shouted, mom and dad turning to her with worried looks on their faces, knowing they had screwed it big time.

 

Dad just slapped his face, and gestured for us to come inside.

 

‘Take your seats, kids, specially you, Rami’, dad ordered, with the saddest eyes. ‘We need to talk’.

 

We all gathered around the dinner table in silence.

 

‘I… am indeed a Princess’, poor mom admitted, embarrassed at her own indiscretion. ‘I... am... Princess Zelda, daughter of Rhoam Bosphoramus, Last King of Hyrule’, her eyes were somber. ‘I am the heir to the throne, and the day the castle is rebuilt, I will become Queen’.

‘But you don’t wear a crown’, Daruk squinted at her.

‘Or ruffly dresses’, Darbus completed the idea. ‘You’re cool, mommy’.

‘Thanks for your words, darlings’, she giggled, ‘but I’m still a princess’.

‘It’s no biggie you’re a princess, mommy’, Daruk assured her, both twins nodding.

‘As long as you don’t have cooties’, my youngest brother reassured.

 

I just looked at them in silence, slowly processing all the information, amazed at my siblings’ fast realizations.

 

‘Wait….’, Miu mused, ‘If mummy is a pwincess…’, she paused, and gasped, then letting a deafening shriek, ‘DEN I’M A PWINCESS TOO! RAMI IS A PWINCE, AND DADDU AND DABBU TOO!’

 

And with her overly enthusiastic yells, it hit me: I’m the firstborn, thus… the goddessdamned  _ Crown Prince! _

 

‘You are all that’, she sighed.

‘What about dad?’, I asked them.

‘I was your mom’s appointed knight, and the Hylian champion… I still am, although bound to her for reasons bigger than loyalty to the crown… ’, he kissed mom’s hand.

‘Mom is the Silent Princess of the song’, I affirmed, remembering the ballads Bard Kass sings often in Rito Village. ‘And dad the Hero that brought light to the land’. 

‘Yep, that's us’, he nodded.

‘We wanted you to have normal childhoods, unlike us’, mom sighed. ‘Your dad entered the knight training when he was five, and was knighted at thirteen, instead of the usual seventeen. I lost my mother when I was six, and later began my training not only to rule, but also to wield the power of the Goddesses that is the duty of the women of the Royal Family… -her eyes turned to Miu- … if you want to, you can become a Priestess of Hylia and the Golden Three, just like your grandmother’.

 

I could swear Miu had  _ stars  _ in her eyes, as she made a victorious fist, saying ‘I’d be an awesome pwincess!’

My sister has always been  _ extremely _ aware of her fate. I guess she’s a natural. The twins were in awe at dad’s - in their opinion - level of badassery. 

 

Mom and dad were a little more calm when they realized we didn’t freak out, and told us a little more about their common pasts. Later they tucked us in bed, as usual, but I couldn’t sleep, unlike my siblings.

After a while fidgeting, I went downstairs to grab a snack -bananas always make me sleep better- and realized my parents were still awake, having tea in pajamas, sitting on the couch. I crouched on the staircase to overhear them.

 

‘Are you better, my sunshine?’, dad refilled mom’s cup, kissing her forehead. She looked like she had been crying.

‘Yes, dear’, she sighed, leaning on his shoulder. ‘I felt like such a failure today…  _ Mount Lanayru _ level of failure’.

 

Later, knowing the complete story of my parents, I realized that was  _ the worst thing ever _ .

 

‘Don’t say that! It wasn’t that bad’, he hugged her shoulders. ‘Did you look at Miu’s face? She was more thrilled than when you showed her the insides of a guardian!’

‘My heart almost melted when she said  _ ‘nite nite, princess’ _ when I put her to bed’, she giggled. ‘I know she’ll handle things better than me… My tiny calamities go with the flow, so I know they'll be fine’.

‘Knowing who they are is not that terrible, they're already good, down to earth kids, see? Being secretive is never good’. 

‘You are right this time’, she conceded. ‘But my worry lies in Rami.’

'Why?’, dad asked -so did I.

'Because someday, he will become a  _ King _ ’.

 

At that word, I lost balance of the surprise, mom and dad noticing I had been eavesdropping.

 

‘Come, sweetie’, mom patted the free space between them.

 

I went down quick, letting myself be coddled by them, something that was scarce having three siblings.

 

‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all this before’, mom hugged me. ‘I wanted you to have a normal life’.

‘Don’t worry mommy, you just wanted to protect us’, I clung tightly to her. ‘You're a good mommy, a cool mom, like the twins said!’

 

And she gave me one those sunny smiles that make dad turn into a mushy mess. 

 

‘I wanna be a good King, will you teach me?’, I asked her.

‘Of course I will, dear!’, her tone was playful and merry. ‘First lesson: be a good boy, and don't procrastinate when I tell you to make your bed and put your books in order’, she booped my nose. 

‘I will! Cross my heart, mommy!’

‘I know you will!’, she giggled. ‘Second lesson: there are many ways to be strong’, she added.

‘Dad is teaching me how to be strong’. 

‘A wise, sound mind is as steely as the finest, most honed blade’, mom corrected me. ‘Your dad is not only the best swordsman, but his resolve is clear, despite his recklessness, and above all, his heart is kind’. 

 

Even as a child, I needed nothing else to understand. 

 

After some extra coddling, I went to bed - mom and dad stayed, probably being lovey-dovey as usual. 

 

The following morning, we had cake for breakfast. 

It tasted different. Better. 

And something had changed on the chalkboard:

 

_ We royally love you - Mom & Dad _

_ P.S. Mom still gets to eat the last piece of cake - Dad. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imagine Miu's reaction like the big sister in the 'Chloe, we're going to Disneyland!' video. Rami is pretty much Chloe in this case.
> 
> I imagine these Link and Zelda are the ones who have silly, petty fights instead of actual arguments (they're pretty much in the same wavelength in everything, considering they've been together for over half of their lives in this story).
> 
> There will be a little more development on this topic probably.


	11. The Little Hylian Gremlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rami finds out about some of his childhood misbehaviors while chatting with Zelda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you so much for bearing with me and my lack of updates!!! Since I'm on a break from work until march, I'll be updating hopefully more often.

I earned my “wild child” status very early in my childhood, around the age of three, but it peaked when I was almost five - I became tamer after the twins were born, since I took to heart the whole “big brother” thing.

 

I was small, chatty, extremely energetic -not as much as my brothers though, but still -and had a penchant for running around in nothing else but shorts. I think every Hyrulean citizen over the age of twenty-five has seen me like that - except for our Hateno neighbors, which have had the dubious honor of seeing my not-so-royal bum rather frequently as a toddler. 

 

Very recently, I learnt my mom kept track of my behavior on her logbooks - I casually found a note while I was helping her out:  _ “after fully learning how to control his sphincter, Rami finds extremely interesting to urinate on the garden and the yard. I, of course, have discouraged such behavior, but my efforts have been fruitless, for Link had supported him, on the excuse of ‘marking his territory’.  _

 

_ I explained very eloquently and vehemently to my dear partner our son is a  _ _ child _ _ , not a wild animal, and he should add Rami’s name to the sign outside the house instead”. _

‘I took notes always because to me was very enlightening to see how you grew up’, mom told me nonchalantly. 'You were a riot on your own right, but the most fascinating one’.

 

‘A riot?’, I asked her, flipping pages to find other notes. 

 

'Take a seat darling’, she went to prepare some tea and, after pouring two cups for us, began.

 

'You woke up most mornings stuck between your dad and I, because whenever you woke up in the middle of the night, he would always bring you to our bed’.

 

‘I can imagine how uncomfortable must have been’, I cringed, ‘to wake up with a tiny foot on your face or ribs’.

 

I’ve shared beds and tents with my siblings more than once. _ I'm never sleeping with either Daruk or Darbus ever again. _

 

'Link never seemed to mind... he always said “ _ it reminds me I am safe and sound with you two… and we make a happy sandwich too! _ ”’- she took a sip of her tea- ‘neither did I...you were such a good boy, I mean, you still are, but you had these... explosions of naughtiness, which had us on pins and needles’.

 

‘I can’t remember much’.

 

‘Of course you don’t!’, Zelda giggled, ‘my duty as your mother  _ is to remind you _ !’

 

And that’s what she did.

* * *

 

A tiny hand patted the face of the sleeping Hylian champion.

 

‘Daddy’, the tiny blond, chubby-cheeked toddler whispered, patting his father's cheek again. 'Daddy, I'm hungie’.

 

‘Hey buddy’, Link groaned, scratching his son's head, taking a peek at Zelda, still asleep. 'High five’.

 

Rami lifted his hand and met his father's, a morning greeting he enjoyed very much. 'Good boy, let's make breakfast!’

 

Both went downstairs, only the restless pitter patter of Rami's tiny feet awakening Zelda, who rubbed the sleep off her eyes and rose,stretching out before seeing Link in his sleeping breeches, warming up a bottle of milk while Rami climbed on his chair, chubby legs dangling while he waited, playing with the salt and pepper shakers as if they were figurines.

 

She joined them in silence, first greeting Link, hugging him from the back, stamping a kiss on a familiar star-shaped scar. After a moment holding him affectionately, she sat next to their little one, planting a good morning kiss on his messy hair.

 

‘Mommy kissed daddy’s boo-boo’.

 

‘I always do’.

 

Rami rose his left hand, his index wiggling, showing her a red dot on its tip. ‘I have a boo-boo too, can you kiss it too?’.

 

‘Your finger still hurts, my baby?, Zelda smooched her son's tiny digit, 'bad rosebush that pinched my fairy boy’.

 

'He had quite a bunch of thorns stuck’, Link explained, placing a small double-handled cup on the table, which the little one took gleefully, drinking its warm contents while he poured some tea and served omelettes for all.

 

‘You won't play with the roses again, will you?’, Zelda asked the boy, who shook his head between sips, a milk moustache on his upper lip already.

 

They had breakfast in silence, mostly observing Rami's appetite- he devoured his omelette, his cup of milk and two mighty bananas. Once done, while Link cleaned up the dishes, Zelda went to the toddler’s mansard roof bedroom and dressed him up - or at least tried to.

 

‘I don’t want pants today mommy’, the toddler bounced on his tiny bed. ‘I wanna be in undies, like daddy!’

 

‘You can’t, I’m sorry’, she shook her head, reminding herself to talk with Link about his tendency to walk around the house in the bare minimum most of the time, ‘but you can  _ choose _ what to wear, just like your daddy does with his gear!’

 

The boy looked at her with reluctance, but his mother’s arguments were good, and grabbed some clothes from the floor.

 

‘Mommy, I wanna wear these shorts’, he waved a khaki garment.

 

‘Absolutely not, those are dirty and grimey!’, Zelda pointed at a wicker basket full of dirty clothes - mostly Link’s.

 

‘Bummer’, he pouted, ‘but…’

 

'No buts, into the hamper they go’.

 

Rami stepped towards the basket, and reluctantly left his dirty garment, Zelda picking for him another pair of pants, which he allowed his mother to put on, along a shirt with yellow buttons, and a pair of suede booties with cotton striped socks.

 

'Mommy fixed it!’, he grinned, patting his chest. An embroidered trim concealed a formerly ripped cuff.

 

‘Yes, but you have to be more careful’, she pinched the tip of his nose. 

 

‘I pwomize I won’t try to climb the roof of auntie Purah’s again’, Rami made puppy eyes.

 

‘Cross your heart?’, Zelda lowered herself to meet his eyes, giving Rami a serious look for a second.

 

‘Cross my heart, mommy!’, he placed his left hand on his chest.

 

‘Alright’, she kissed his son’s forehead, ‘go play outside, but don't make a mess!’

 

'Awright, mum!’

 

Rami dashed downstairs, his steps sounding like the rumble of thunder, the house now in silence. Zelda dressed up and sat at the breakfast table, now cleared up, to read in silence, Link sitting at the opposite end, with a cup of tea, simply staring at her.

 

‘You used to be more subtle about that’, she flipped a page of her book. ‘For a long time I never realized you were staring at my rear whenever I was doing field research’.

 

‘Left that at the Shrine of Resurrection’, he sipped his tea.

 

‘Along with your clothes’, her eyes met his for a second. 'It's a miracle you are actually dressed’.

 

‘And my sense of decorum’, he smirked, the tip of his foot stroking her ankle, teasing her a little, awaiting for her reaction - whether it was more or less receptive, he adored to provoke her.

 

‘Save whatever dirty thoughts you have right now for after Rami falls asleep’.

 

‘Or his naptime?’, he made a more daring offer. ‘He sleeps two solid hours like a log, I can be your test subject on whatever you wanna try…’ - he jumped off his seat, striding towards her - ‘or I can be a  _ very good _ appointed knight and wear my fancy uniform for you…’, he placed a kiss on her neck. ‘Or I can wear your  _ other _ favorite suit, I know you like the loincloth’.

 

‘Naughty!’, she darted him a look, covering her blush with her book. 

 

‘You know you’re worse than me’, he whispered into her ear.

 

‘Naptime sounds good’, she said, trying to keep her composure, despite being completely flustered.

 

‘Naptime, the-’ - the door knocked. ‘Gotta catch that’.

 

At the door, Mr. Bolson, and Mr. Sayge.

 

And Rami, next to the the former, all wet… and green.

 

‘Your little gremlin was running around like this’, the contractor said. 

 

‘I’m a froggy, gwandpa!’, Rami corrected him, ‘ribbit!’

 

‘My apologies, my darling’, he patted the toddler’s head, ‘your  _ little frog _ was hopping around after jumping on one of the dying vats’.

 

‘I was trying out some experimental combinations… so it surely won’t come off of the clothes, but it might take some good scrubbing to get it out off the skin and hair’, the shopkeeper explained. ‘...And you gotta see the rest’.

 

‘Alright’, Link sighed, Zelda approaching the door with a concerned look.

 

They went along their neighbors, the shop and the village perfectly normal, except for one thing: the road was a  _ literal _ rainbow, the contents of the dying vats spilled downhill, clothes scattered all over the place.

 

‘I’m sorry, but you’ll have to pay for the ruined dye jobs I had commissioned’.

 

Link and Zelda turned to Rami, flaming looks darted at the tiny culprit.

 

‘Ribbit?’

 

‘Not even hopping can save you now, my grandson’, Bolson addressed him with a sigh.

* * *

 

‘You were  _ so _ grounded after that little stunt of yours, even if we were partly at fault for leaving you unsupervised for a moment’, mom remembered, saving a thought to herself. 

 

I’d rather not imagine what they were doing that had them so  _ distracted _ back then.

 

‘How long?’

 

‘A whole month, your personal record, and also the time it took for your hair to lose the green’.

 

‘A month? I didn’t remember it was so long’.

 

‘I wrote notes about that on my log’, she affirmed, ‘volume four, check it if you don’t believe me. It served to Mr. Sayge for his craft to find the most potent dye combinations, he discovered a way to make a line of permanent dyes for fabric’.

 

‘At least it wasn’t such a negative thing’, I shrugged, slowly remembering some additional  hazy details or two - I do remember Momo’s incredulous face when she saw me, and that she laughed a lot, how embarrassing!

 

‘Rami, the first color was named after you!’, mom burst laughing.

 

'And what was it?’

 

' _ Hylian gremlin green _ ’.

  
The most dubious honor  _ ever. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next episodes, I'll be adding more omniprescent flashbacks - mostly to keep the storytelling interesting, and show things the kids don't know.


End file.
